secrets and strength
by graveexcitement
Summary: Chihiro reveals his secret to a different person, with better results.


A/N: Written for Bonster for the 2018 Chocolate Box exchange. Originally posted Feb 14, 2018.

* * *

There was no doubt about it. Chihiro was the weakest one here.

He was almost surprised that he had lasted this long, in a situation like this. No one knew his secret, but everyone… everyone must know, that if they wanted an easy kill…

Chihiro sniffed, forcing back tears. _They're not thinking like that,_ he tried to tell himself. _No one… no one else would…_ But that was exactly it, wasn't it? Maizono-san and Kuwata-kun had thought of each other like that. As potential victims.

And now that their worst secrets were in play, dangled above them by Monokuma… He shuddered. If Monokuma had his worst secret, then there was no denying that he held other incredibly damaging secrets as well. And he didn't want to believe that any of the others would kill over a secret, but… Could he dismiss that possibility? He bit his lip, trying not to cry.

[Is everything all right, Master?] Alter Ego piped up.

Chihiro rested his fingers on the laptop keyboard, and with effort forced them to stop shaking. [I'm so weak,] he typed. [I need to become stronger. Not just in this school, in this situation, but also… in general. In the rest of my life.]

He had to believe there would be a "rest of his life," after this nightmare.

He had to. Even though he might become the next victim - his hands shook - he couldn't just give up and wait to die. That would be… the weakest thing he could do.

And he wanted to be stronger than that.

His hands weren't shaking anymore.

[I believe in you, Master!] said Alter Ego. [You can definitely do it!]

He smiled. [Thanks,] he typed up. Everything felt clear, for the moment. He refused to give up, so he would have to work to become stronger.

And that meant… He bit his lip. That meant revealing his secret. Well, if no one committed murder, then Monokuma would just reveal their secrets anyways, but being strong wasn't just physical strength. It was also courage. Willpower.

[I'm going to tell someone,] he typed. [Before Monokuma's reveal.]

Alter Ego bobbed their head. [Who?]

[Well…] He hesitated. [My first choice would be Oowada-kun… He's strong, and the manliest one here. Maybe… he could help me?]

[From what you have told me, he definitely is strong. Though…]

[What?]

[Didn't you tell me he knocked out Naegi-kun just for getting in the way of a fight?]

Chihiro had almost forgotten about that, even though it had just been a few days ago. [Yeah, but still…]

[What about Oogami-san?] Alter Ego asked.

Oogami-san. Without a doubt, she was the strongest one here, physically. Probably mentally as well, he decided. But she seemed so unapproachable… Sure, she was friends with Asahina-san, but Asahina-san was athletic, too. The Ultimate Swimmer was plenty strong, so it made sense that she and the Ultimate Martial Artist would be friends. But he was the weakest one here… the Ultimate Programmer, a boy wearing skirts to hide his weakness.

[I know I don't really know her,] said Alter Ego, distracting Chihiro from his train of thought, [but from everything you've told me about her, I don't think she would react badly.]

[Why do you think that?]

[Well, it's just a hunch. But she sounds like the kind of person who respects people who work to improve themselves.]

Chihiro nodded hesitantly. That did sound like what he knew of Oogami-san… Well, that shouldn't be _too_ surprising, since right now Alter Ego only knew what Chihiro knew.

Approaching her would be nerve-wracking, but… he wanted to be strong, didn't he?

[Thanks, Alter Ego.]

[You are very welcome. I believe in you!]

* * *

He'd had trouble figuring out how to approach Oogami-san. During the day, she was always with Asahina-san, and Chihiro didn't think he could bear to tell two people at once.

So he'd arranged a night-time training session, which Oogami-san kindly agreed to. He guessed that she probably wouldn't be afraid of having night-time meetings, not when none of their classmates stood a chance of overpowering her, not even Oowada-kun. And of course she would never have any reason to fear Chihiro.

She arrived at the locker rooms before he did; he'd spent much of that evening trying (and mostly failing) to subdue his anxiety. He hoped his eyes weren't too red from all the crying he'd done, as the agreed-upon time approached and his panic mounted.

"Thanks f-for coming," he stammered out. "Sorry for making you wait."

"It is no trouble, Fujisaki. Having another person to train with is pleasing enough on its own. Though, I am certain that Asahina would love to have you join us during a daytime workout, if you are amenable."

"I… maybe…" Chihiro trailed off.

"Shall we get started?" Oogami-san turned towards the girls' locker room.

The _girls'_ locker room. Chihiro didn't think his heart could beat any faster than it already had been, but now it seemed to be racing a mile a minute.

"Wait," he blurted out. Oogami-san turned back toward him, and he managed to force himself to speak. "There's something I have to tell you first."

At first, explaining himself was the most nerve-wracking experience of his life. But as Oogami-san accepted everything he said calmly and respectfully, Chihiro found that his heart wasn't pounding quite so hard anymore, and he'd stopped trembling, too. By the end of it, he'd even summoned up a smile. "I know it's shameful for a boy to be so weak, and pretend - pretend like this," he said, "but I want to be stronger. I want that more than anything."

Oogami-san nodded. "You have already made an excellent start," she said. "It was very brave of you to tell me your secret like that, Fujisaki. That's a strength I'm not sure many of us can match."

Chihiro blushed. "Oh, but - of everyone here, you're the strongest," he babbled. "In every sense of the word - I know whatever your secret is, you're strong enough to face it - without spending hours crying about it beforehand like I did -"

"No," Oogami-san cut in.

He blinked. "What?"

She shook her head. "You flatter me, Fujisaki, but in truth I have not been strong enough to face the secret Monokuma holds over my head. In this respect, I truly admire your strength. To tell your greatest secret, and smile… That is courage, Fujisaki, and any time spent crying does not make it less so."

"O - oh." Chihiro hesitated. "Well… whatever your secret is, I'll support you when Monokuma tells everyone tomorrow. And… I believe in you, Oogami-san. Whatever it is, I believe you can overcome it." He smiled shakily.

Oogami-san stared down at him, seeming almost hesitant. She seemed on the verge of deciding something, and Chihiro stayed quiet.

Finally, she spoke. "Fujisaki… Thank you. I think I needed to hear that. And moreover, to have you as an example to follow."

"Me…?"

"Why don't we adjourn to the pool? We can continue this discussion there, and afterwards, if you are still willing, we can have a light workout."

Chihiro nodded, and each went through their respective locker rooms to the pool area.

Oogami-san brought two mats with her, which she must have picked up from the girls' locker room. She laid them out, and they sat down.

"My secret is... shameful," Oogami-san admitted, looking down. "Once you hear it, your opinion of me will surely not be so high. However, I wish to confront it. And that means speaking honestly, and being willing to face the consequences. As you did."

She closed her eyes then, and did not speak for so long that Chihiro finally, tremulously, offered, "It's okay if you don't tell me. I nearly backed out a dozen times… We can just train, if you want."

Oogami-san shook her head sharply. "No, I wish to tell you. What deters me is what you, what everyone, will think of me…" She narrowed her eyebrows, determined. "But you must have had the same fear, and yet you came to me anyways. I will endeavor to live up to your example."

"The truth is," she said, "shortly after we arrived here Monokuma demanded I spy for him, be his pawn; he threatened my family dojo if I did not comply. And, shamefully… I agreed. I answered all of his questions. I told myself that if he ever demanded some act of violence from me, I would refuse. But that I agreed at all is…"

"Understandable," Chihiro said softly.

Oogami-san blinked in surprise.

"He threatened your family, didn't he?" Oogami-san nodded, and he continued. "And you didn't know any of us at the time… and it's not like you ever hurt any of us… I think almost any one of us would have done the same, if Monokuma threatened our families. And if anyone gets upset tomorrow, I'll remind them of that." He placed a trembling hand on one of hers. "Thank you for telling me, Oogami-san."

"Once again, you surprise me," Oogami-san murmured. "That is not a bad thing. Far from it." Chihiro blushed. "Thank _you_ , Fujisaki. Your bravery, in a situation like this… it was what I needed to see. I won't be helping Monokuma anymore. I'm ashamed I ever did. But I will work to make up for my weakness." She turned her hand over in his, and held it tenderly, yet firmly. "We will make it out of here," she stated, utterly determined.

Chihiro basked in that determination, in the knowledge that even if he didn't know what to do, Oogami-san did - and that he could trust her. Having someone to trust, someone other than Alter Ego… He felt like a burden he hadn't realized he'd been carrying had been lifted from his back.

And, the warmth of her hand in his… it was soothing. Grounding. That point of human connection… he didn't feel like he might shake out of his skin anymore.

"Why don't we get started on the training?" Oogami-san said, after a minute. "Unless you're tired? It is probably rather late, after all this discussion."

Chihiro shook his head. Who knew when he'd feel this confident again? "Now's fine," he said.

Oogami-san smiled. "Then let's begin." She squeezed his hand once, then let it go. The loss of contact was oddly disappointing, but soon he was distracted by the exertion of the workout Oogami-san led him through.

That night, Chihiro went to bed exhausted, but he also felt free.

* * *

The following morning, he felt the fear welling up again. Their secrets would be revealed today. Or worse, they _wouldn't_ be, because someone would be dead.

He spent some time fretting about either possibility. But in the end, when Monokuma called them all to the gym, Chihiro was relieved to look over the gathered group and see that no one was missing. In the end, no one had decided their secrets were worth killing over, and they grudgingly assembled so that Monokuma could reveal each secret, one by one.

Monokuma seemed displeased that no one had followed up on his motive this time, but he certainly relished revealing each secret in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He started with relatively minor secrets, then worked his way up to the bigger, more serious ones.

Chihiro couldn't help but cry when Monokuma laid his secret bare for them all to see. He scrubbed at his eyes furiously, mentally berating himself for his weakness, when he felt strong arms drawing him into an embrace.

"It's all right to cry," Oogami-san rumbled in his ear. "It isn't weak. You're safe here." And a few minutes later, when he could bear to turn around and face his classmates with watery eyes, he found that they… didn't hate him. No one was sneering at him or looking at him in disgust, like he'd imagined. Naegi-kun even approached him and politely asked how he would like to be addressed, and he stammered out that it would be all right if everyone used male pronouns for him. And the group just - accepted it, and Monokuma moved on.

Monokuma saved Oogami-san's secret for last, so Chihiro was somewhat recovered when Oogami-san preempted Monokuma by confessing everything herself. She sounded calm, and she didn't shake like Chihiro would have in her position, but her eyes were downcast, and he knew she was prepared to accept the hatred and distrust of their classmates. She explained it all, ignoring Monokuma's fury at having his entertainment stolen from him, and concluded with, "I work for him no longer, as of last night. I understand if you stop trusting me, henceforth."

"Sakura-chan - Of _course_ I still trust you!" Asahina-san wailed.

"He threatened your family," Chihiro said. "Nearly anyone here would have done the same." He stared at the others in defiance, daring them to disagree.

But even when Togami-kun spoke up, he did not voice a disagreement. "I was not so foolish as to trust any of you to begin with, of course," he said, adjusting his glasses with a smirk. "But this development says more about Monokuma than it does about Oogami."

"Indeed," said Kirigiri-san. "That he would enlist you as a mole implies that he is not so confident in his power as he would have us believe. But that he was willing to reveal this secret after only a few days speaks to a different motive. By revealing your partnership with him, however coerced, he seeks to sow the seeds of discord in our group. He may have even hoped to provide the motive for another murder."

The group digested this.

"W-well it's not g-going to work now that we know about it, right?" Fukawa-san nervously demanded.

"Hell no," Oowada-kun barked. "He's pretty fucking dumb if you ask me - there's no way any of us would be able to kill Oogami."

"Upupupu." Monokuma giggled. "I guess we'll see about that, won't we?" And with that parting shot, he left.

The assembled students drifted apart after that, with people leaving the gym in twos and threes. Before he knew it, the only other person who was still here was Oogami-san.

"We did it," he said, smiling shakily up at her.

"Indeed we did," she rumbled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "And it went considerably better than either of us thought, yes?" With her other hand she reached up to Chihiro's face and gently brushed away the tears he'd shed. Chihiro instinctively leaned into her touch.

"I must thank you again, Fujisaki," Oogami-san murmured.

"There's no need," he said, but she shook her head.

"There is every need. Fujisaki, you must understand. My ability to face my secret, first last night and then today, was inspired by _your_ courage. You must not discount yourself. You already have strength."

He hesitated, and she must have seen the doubt on his face; then she was leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Chihiro's lips. The kiss was over almost as soon as it had begun, and Chihiro stared up at her in wonder as she drew back, his heart racing. _Did she really just...?_

"I would be honored to help you grow stronger, if that is your desire," said Oogami-san. "But you already amaze me."

"I - thank you, Oogami-san," he said, blushing. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

She smiled. "You can call me Sakura."

His eyes widened. "Then - you can call me Chihiro, Sakura-san!"

"Gladly," Sakura-san said. Chihiro beamed back at her, feeling as light as a feather.

His tears had dried.


End file.
